// +----------------------------------------------+ //
// |  Copyright©2003, Steven Douglas Huddleston   | //
// |             All Rights Reserved              | //
// | No portion of this code can be copied, used, | //
// | published or reproduced in any way without   | //
// | the expressed written consent of the author. | //
// +----------------------------------------------+ //

MAX = selectdisclaim(-1);                          // Counts Total Number of Items
selectdisclaim(Math.ceil(Math.random() * MAX));    // Random Item Selector
ICO = '<img src="http://www.kongaloid.org/src/img/warning.gif" style="height:16px; width:16px; vertical-align:-3px;" alt="">';
msg = ICO + '&nbsp;&nbsp;' + msg + '&nbsp;&nbsp;' + ICO;

document.getElementById('disclaim').style.color = clr;
document.getElementById('disclaim').innerHTML = msg;

function selectdisclaim(X) {I=0;

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: Do not browse this site while operating heavy machinery.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='NOTICE: This website is entirely produced from recycled electrons.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='NOTICE: No electrons were injured in the production of this web site.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='NOTICE: Any resemblance to entities, real or imagined, is vehemently intentional.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='ATTENTION: Contents is subject to change without your notice.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='ATTENTION: This website was produced under a caffeine-induced trance.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: Trespassers will be violated. (<i>Repeatedly!</i>)';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: Some readers may be found objectionable.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: DO NOT put INPUT in OUTPUT!';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: This website may cause itching in hard-to-reach places.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: This website warps space-time in its vicinity.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='NOTE: Always browse this website in a well-ventilated area.';
                  clr='#663300'; // BROWN
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: This site contains highly psychoactive ingredients.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: The cohesive integrity of your atoms may dissolve at any moment.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

I++; if (X == I) {msg='WARNING: This site contains sarcasm. Use only as directed.';
                  clr='#ff0000'; // RED
                  return;}

if (X == -1) return I;}