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CAVEAT: High-energy particles
are emerging from this screen at the speed of light.
It is highly probable that some of them may collide with subatomic particles in your Deoxyribonucleic Acid
chains, altering their physical properties and behavior, (energy levels, charge,
spin, etc.), and thus infusing you with the Kongaloid Essence forever. (This may
already have taken place.) Therefore, the actual definition of your cosmic reality phase state
is being systematically and irrevocably altered in proportion to the length of
your visit to this website.
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 Anarchic Roster
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"Monsters from the Id" 
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It never ceases to amaze me that this particularly fallacious piece of sophistry is still taken dead-seriously by most people on Earth. Scratch that. Most (non-kongaloid) humans. The obvious, “no-brainer” answer is, “Why, the egg, of course!” But for some reason, normal humans get all mentally discombobulated about that. Once they recover they attempt to declare their superiority by asking, “Oh yeah! Then who laid the egg, huh?” The obvious, “no-brainer” answer is, “Yo mamma!” But that only seems to upset them even more. (That sort of fine sarcasm is usually wasted on people with ready-access to firearms.) Of course, the proverbial egg was laid by a Gallus sonneratii, a proto-chicken kind of beastie that is “a chicken” only to the uncouth Americans. What emerged from that egg was a chicken and not a G. sonneratii by virtue of genetic adaptations. Hence a new species was born, Gallus domesticus, or simply chicken.
This explanation compresses into several days events which actually took longer to develop,
but is fairly accurate in its representation of the truth, unlike Genesis, which only
"compresses into several days events which actually took longer to develop"—period.
The problem arises from the use of the concept “egg”. While the concept “chicken” is a direct reference to a specific species of creature, the same cannot be said about the egg, which may or may not have been laid by a chicken. Eggs are employed by, (among others), amphibians, reptiles, fish, and even some mammals, as well as birds. Hence the semantic association of egg with chicken implies that the egg in question was indeed a chicken egg. If that were a condition then the issue is indeed unsolvable. Since the “first chicken”, although it did come from and egg, did not come from a “chicken egg”, (Again, this did not happen overnight.), insisting that it was a chicken egg makes the question fallacious, meaningless; and those who pursue it, fools. Anyway, mentally perambulating through the nigh imperceptible process of change it struck me that even something as imposing and durable as a mountain may dissolve into the ocean before a cleverly-worded piece of misinformation is finally dismissed.
It was grand to be back! Nature at its finest! A splendid cacophony of consonant chaos impinged the ears. Air filled with intensely intoxicating aromas of a trillion undefined and indefinable sources. The higher levels of atmospheric oxygen boosting the buzz… I hid the Time Machine in a small indentation at the base of a limestone cliff and set off at once to engage the truth. It wasn’t long before I encountered the many-colored denizens of this pristine epoch who through our common bond informed me that a similar preoccupation engaged the lesser minds of their own time. Only with them it took a form that could be loosely translated as “Which came first, the archaeopteryx or the placental yolk-sac?”
Now, of course, if you, my dear reader, happen to be a time-traveler as well, you are quite aware that pteranodon young are not comely by any stretch of the imagination. But I was told that this particular fledgling was of a most frightful semblance. While all of its siblings wore a smooth leather skin of light brown, this particular hatch was endowed with a coat of the palest and most unseemly wrinkled skin. Disgusted by his sickly appearance, and quite convinced he could not prosper. The pteranodon mom made quick to thrust the defective youth from her ledge. Down he fell into the tangled jungle bellow. The ugly pteranodon looked up from the sod mound on which he landed and saw that returning was hopeless. Terrified and dejected, he lunged forward, guided by instinct, in search of shelter and food. Somehow, he found both, if not well at least sufficient. A few hours in exile had already dried his pelt into a smooth, downy fuzz that warmed his body, if nothing else. Within a day he had made his way to a hollow boulder that would protect him from weather and foes. In the coming days he encountered all manner of adventures and made a few friends. Time passed, and, against all odds, the ugly pteranodon matured and grew. In a few weeks the soft down was replaced by a strange growth of stiff, thick rods that flared into flattened rows of tough hairs. They glistened almost iridescently in vibrant greens, reds, and blues. “You don’t look like no pteranodon I know.”, a friendly young diplodocus had once told him. Which pretty much echoed the sentiments of all his friends as they saw him change with time into a strapping young fowl. It was a little while after that when chance would bring him upon a placid pool to drink. And how great was his surprise to behold his wondrous reflection upon the water! For now in his full-glory it was indeed evident that he was no pteranodon as once and again the many denizens of the wild had told him. What he was they could not say, and neither could he guess—even now that he saw the flamboyant coloration of his magnificent plumage—for he had never seen the like, in all the creatures he has known. “Hello!” said a voice from above. The ugly pteranodon turned his head around and up to behold the intruder and was met with another much like himself, perched on a high branch of a towering conifer, casually preening her plumage with beak and talon. His voice trembled in awe and wonder, he asked, “What are you?” “I am archaeopteryx.” She said, “Like yourself, of course!”
At last I returned, forward to our time, and to tell you of this tale of the Ugly Pteranodon. As you see the faux-dilema was solved long before the humans thought themselves clever for coming up with it. Nor are the tales that spring from such lessons new. Every epoch has had its own wisdom inscribed in the layers of Earth's history. We have but to look in the pages of the life that surrounds us to see the truth. This you will not get from the mouths of men. Now I bid thee farewell. Hoping that you have enjoyed this little romp and hoping also that now at last it is understood why it is so certain, why it cannot be any other way, than that the first to come was indeed, the egg.
Did you enjoy this posting? Consider taking a moment to make a voluntary $1.00 donation to the author. Doing so will greatly encourage him to produce more such works in the future. Thank you!
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P.R. Planning Board Regulation No. 4, Topic 7 Section 70.02(1)(e) Parking areas with more than 12 parking spaces must have an ornamental tree planted, (such as "roble, ucar, caoba (mahogany), maga" or others) for every six parking spaces. The tree must have a minimum height of 1.5 meters at the time of planting and its trunk space must have a radius of 1.25 meters wide to allow for water and air.
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