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Friday, May 21, 1999  
   Kongaloids: History

History


Kongaloids were first observed in 1980, in the unlikely location known as Sanford, Florida, USA. A small group of three males established a habitat in a large Oak tree deep within the forest that surrounds the Sanford Airport.

Researchers have found very little documentation regarding this first group of Kongaloids. Their unorthodox views and immediate vicinity to human habitats caused this particular group to be extremely shy and secretive. When they were not working, they spent all of their time at their tree, where they were frequently observed swinging placidly in the breeze from hammocks suspended high above the ground from the massive branches of their "home organism" while listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd or Jethro Tull. (A rather remarkable report indicates that on several occasions, they were also observed to have been listening to the rare and elusive Inter-Galactic Touring Band, but that is as yet unconfirmed.)

They called themselves Konga, Mafú, and Dale. They were tall and slim, had a generally good disposition towards others and smiled all the time. Konga was raised as a Jehovah´s Witness, Mafú is said to have been a Catholic, and Dale was of unknown origin, though some research seems to indicate that he might have been raised as a protestant. Other than that their backgrounds are pretty sketchy, all three were obviously Caucasian, but of different geographic stock, Konga was new age Anglo-Saxon, Mafú was new age Latino-Anglo, and Dale was of unknown origin, (probably WASP).

Although they inhabited the area for almost one year and seemed rather content with their situation, they mysteriously disappeared in early 1981. Some theories suggest that they were scared off by conflicts with the local human population. There is some archeological evidence that shows that the Kongaloids were victimized by local raiders who frequently trashed their tree house and stole everything they could.

United States delinquents are notorious for their apathy and brutality, and for a time it was feared that the Kongaloids had met a horrific end. But later reports came from the island of Puerto Rico, that a Kongaloid community had been observed there.

In the remote areas of the El Yunque National State Forest, the only Rain Forest in the United States National Parks system. A scantily-clad group of almost ten Kongaloids had made their home close to the only non-polluted river left in the entire island of Puerto Rico. Due to the remoteness of their forest habitat, studies of this group are also sadly lacking.

This larger group of Kongaloids included both males and females. They had a leader or "patriarch" called Billy who serenaded his tribe almost constantly by playing sweet melodies of his own composition on an old guitar that seemed to be an extension of his upper torso. The passionate sounds of lovemaking were always heard in the community, intermingling with the cacophony of wilder bird-calls and Coquíes that were the constant audio backdrop of the tribe. It is believed that KONGA was also a part of this group, although how he got to Puerto Rico remains a mystery. Mafú was also rumored to have been seen from time to time with this group, but his positive identification could not be made and it seemed that he only made infrequent visits to that tribe.


Kongaloid Habitat - Naranjito, Puerto Rico - Circa 1994
Some reports indicate that another tribe of Kongaloids was observed in the remote mountains of the Central Range, specifically in the regions comprised by the town of Orocovis. But reported similarities between that group and the El Yunque tribe have led some researchers to believe that both groups were the same, which might indicate that Kongaloids have a strong migratory instinct.

The last unpolluted river in Puerto Rico has now been polluted by the local Aqueducts and Sewer Authority and the tribe has moved away. Human residents of the area have torn down their vacant home for fear that they might someday return. When questioned by researchers the human residents of the area could only spout incoherent and hysterical references to "Satan´s Breed" and the "Devil´s Emissary". Researchers have lost track of the Puerto Rico tribe, and it is believed (and hoped) that they have found an even more remote and inaccessible location to inhabit, where they will be safe from the savagery of human ignorance.

Normal human's violence against Kongaloids is well documented, as is evident in a San Juan Star article by Karen Lowe published in 10 May 1982, entitled "Beach drifters irk some Isla Verde residents". It is believed that humans, due to their widespread afectation of paranoia, can sense the Kongaloid's superiority, and instinctively feel threatened. The natural reaction of the agressive humans is to destroy what they find threatening. This is why caution cannot be expressed strongly enough in regards to Kongaloids.


Kongaloids on the beach - Circa 1982
Konga is said to have left Puerto Rico around 1984 and was again seen in California. Where he met and married a Kongaloid female of Mexican-Native American stock. They have had two "once-in-a-lifetime" events which goes against Kongaloid nature, but some researchers have theorized that the unusual number of children could be a natural defense directive that came from the Earth itself. Now that Kongaloids have been established as the most likely hope for salvation left to the Earth against the ravages and insults of the human race, it might be that an increase in the Kongaloid population is a reflex action to attempt to accelerate the normal process of evolution.

The appearance of Mafú in Puerto Rico is no surprise, since that is his native home-land. Mafú entered the human society in 1982 and became a productive member. He discovered a natural talent for computers and found ways to exploit it. He married a normal human female, who he tried for 15 years to "cure" of her human insanity, a failed experiment that Kongaloids must avoid at all costs. The sensitive Kongaloid nature of Mafú was almost destroyed and probably would have continued to degenerate until Mafú himself was lost. A tragic end for this most interesting Kongaloid pioneer that was averted thanks to the chance meeting (rumored to have occurred in cyberspace) with a Kongaloid female, also of Latin descent, who took it upon herself to salvage what was left of Mafú.

Shortly after that Mafú disappeared from Puerto Rico. It is believed he is now living in Mexico with the Kongaloid female that saved him, where they are getting ready for their "once-in-a- lifetime-event".

Nothing at all is known of what happened to the Kongaloid known as Dale since his disappearance from the Sanford, Florida, USA locale. It is feared that this last member of the original Kongaloid community has been lost forever.


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Posted by Steven Douglas Huddleston Email at 7:00 PM
Edited on: Sunday, August 09, 2009 1:18 PM
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