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CAVEAT: High-energy particles
are emerging from this screen at the speed of light.
It is highly probable that some of them may collide with subatomic particles in your Deoxyribonucleic Acid
chains, altering their physical properties and behavior, (energy levels, charge,
spin, etc.), and thus infusing you with the Kongaloid Essence forever. (This may
already have taken place.) Therefore, the actual definition of your cosmic reality phase state
is being systematically and irrevocably altered in proportion to the length of
your visit to this website.
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 February 1998
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September 2001 
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IntroductionIntelligent, Romantic, Lovable and Extremely Fuzzy (But Well Groomed) To know one is to love one--and to spend a lot of time confused. Kongaloids are known for their unusually clear perspectives on reality. Although they dwell a little too much in science fiction and fantasy, (they are chronic dreamers), their brains seem to be wired from birth with the ability to instictivelly know the dream for what it is. They are probably the next level in human evolution--one that nature created to counter the runnaway madness that has infected humanity over the past decades. "...a little revolution, every now and then, is a good thing..." Kongaloids are very special creatures, they rally to that noble call: Save The Humans!Here at last, their story will be told, and maybe, fear can be converted into something really useful, like fertilizer! (Yep, Kongaloids adore metaphors!) Kongaloid (kån•ga´•loid) Homo Sapiens Kongaloidiens Mammal, primate, bipedal, omnivorous: First observed in 1980 A.D. and characterized by a strong immunity to most psychological ailments common to the Primate Branch of the Kingdom Animalia. This immunity seems to be primarily due to the apparent direct connection that exists between it´s higher brain functions and the normal cycle of life on Earth. (Ongoing research has yet to determined the nature of this apparently supernatural connection.) It´s current classification as a new species of the Genus Homo is tentative pending further research into it´s nature and remarkable abilities.
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General FactsKongaloids are a rare mutation of the Homo Sapiens species, probably caused by the natural process of evolution in response to environmental changes. However, unlike most mutant adaptations which tend to be physical in nature, Kongaloids may be the first observed example of a psycho-emotional adaptation since the Cro-Magnon Man. It is not yet know if the Kongaloid Gene is passed from one generation to another, although Kongaloids have now begun to breed, they tend to be over-protective with their children, making observation and study difficult. But preliminary results shows promise and some researchers are beginning to accept the idea that the Kongaloid Gene is inherited. The reader must be cautioned, however, that no evidence exists yet that the Kongaloid Gene is viable, any such reports are premature until the Kongaloid children have matured enough that they begin to manifest Kongaloid characteristics. Being a new species little or nothing is known of their developmental rate. Researchers must maintain an objective perspective and resist the temptation to jump to conclusions that are founded on nothing more than the great hope that Kongaloids represent for the Human Race and for all life on Earth. Also since the viability of the Kongaloid Species (once established) could only mean that the Homo Sapiens line is obsolete, and since the Homo Sapiens line is infected with an unreasoning propensity towards violence, and since the Kongaloid species is new and fragile and still struggling to establish itself, it is necessary to temper such discoveries as are made regarding Kongaloids with discrete caution. Humanity (not the human race) may well be doomed if the Kongaloid hope does not take root, and grows. Kongaloids are playful and good-humored, with an unusual capacity for absorbing details of their surroundings. Erotic in nature, they revel in the experience of new sensations of every kind. They are obsessive in their likes and dislikes, are afflicted by an insatiable love for chocolate, incapable of fearing change, (as humans do), and consume extraordinary amounts of reading material, especially science-fiction. Their minds seem to be forever hungry for new information. (Rather like the little robot in the "Short Circuit" movies, they just can´t seem to get enough "Input". Incidentally the Johnny Five robot might be the first "Robotic Kongaloid".) Although they are found just about anywhere, the natural habitat for a Kongaloid is any densely forested area, preferably far away from the unhealthy pollutants of the large cities, where they can freely choose the tree that best suits their particular individual temperament, to inhabit. Their "unusually-wired" brains are especially keen in perceiving all things unhealthy that are generally accepted by common folk as unavoidable consequences of "modern-life". By "all things unhealthy" we mean not only to the life of a Kongaloid, but to all life in general. Kongaloids believe that they are an intrinsic and inextricable part of the circle of life on Earth. A belief that is completely opposed to the more universally accepted ideology that humans in general are a separate element of nature, not subject to the rule of natural forces. Such generally accepted beliefs are viewed with sadness by the Kongaloid community, who often shake their heads and sigh when encountering manifestations of that ideology. Independent studies conducted by Kongaloid researchers have revealed that this "most unhealthy of all human aberrations" has its origins in the infamous Book of Genesis, part of The Pentateuch of Moses (The Primal Beast), specifically the passage where the so-called God entity commands man to "subdue the earth" (sic). Since a Kongaloid believes that his health is inextricably linked to the health of the whole Earth, to "subdue the Earth" translates to him as "to subdue yourself". By enslaving the Earth man enslaves himself and becomes a prisoner, and inevitably, a victim of his own madness.
Kongaloids accept with pride that they are the subjects of natural forces, the instinctive urges and drives that so many humans today strive to "control" are allowed to freely manifest themselves. Among Kongaloids, open displays of emotion and sudden fits of passion are not only commonly accepted, but joyfully celebrated. Another characteristic that distinguishes the Kongaloids from other humans is their fierce loyalty to their chosen mates. Rather than fighting the urge to indulge in promiscuous behavior, Kongaloids understand that their attraction to the opposite sex is a perfectly healthy aspect of their animal nature, but they also accept that their human nature transcends any such inclination. Although they readily accept that humans are nothing more than just another species in the ecological diversity of the Earthly fauna, they also understand that humans are a very special part of that fauna, one that has developed and refined it´s instinctive drives to achieve a higher level of expression. Thus romantic love and expressions of intimate desires are seen as a psycho-evolutionary enhancement of basic, primal forces. Kongaloids understand the greater advantages of a stable, monogamous relationship in terms of the emotional and psychological benefits it provides, and this factor alone is overwhelming enough to automatically cancel any primal urge to copulate for no other reason than a brief physical release.
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SexualityNot much is know about the mating habits of Kongaloids. They tend to be discrete and even secretive about such things. But studies of Kongaloid psychology do reveal some interesting facts that allow us to extrapolate what Kongaloid sexuality might be like. Since Kongaloids are subjects of natural forces, they are strictly heterosexual. Since natural forces always compel a creature to seek pleasure (such as hunger--discomfort--being cancelled by a full and satisfied belly--pleasure--), Kongaloids are compelled and mostly motivated by, (as is the case with all creatures), the search for pleasure. The basic difference between a Kongaloid´s and the average human´s quest for pleasure is that the average human seeks no further transcendental motive behind his desire to be pleased, while the Kongaloid instinctively realizes that the pleasure he seeks can be greatly enhanced with the judicious application of a little Rational Morality. A Kongaloid realizes, as all humans do, that his desire to be pleased requires nothing less than another person´s absolute and total dedication to the sole and only purpose of providing the total pleasure he desires. Without Rational Morality this translates, as it does to most non-Kongaloids, to the submission, by whatever means, including violence and coercion, of another person to one´s own desires. Rational Morality, however, changes this perception to a more evolved and hence civilized form of reasoning: By understanding the full implications of his own desire for pleasure it quickly becomes obvious to a Kongaloid that the only possibility of being totally pleased is that the person who provides the pleasure is completely motivated to providing that pleasure, by his or her own free will. A coerced or forced individual will strive to please, but the Kongaloid requires that the desire to please be evidently sincere. Real pleasure, for a Kongaloid, is impossible if one does not perceive in the giver their sincere and genuine interest in your own satisfaction. Something that is simply impossible when the giver is motivated by fear or enslaved resignation. Therefore, the Kongaloid reasons, the only possibility to get another person to sincerely provide the total pleasure one seeks, is to give to that person the total pleasure that that person seeks. If the person is completely satisfied, he or she will be completely relieved of their own need to seek pleasure and furthermore, so pleased with what you have provided that they will be genuinely motivated to do the same for you. Thus a purely selfish desire is fulfilled in an apparently unselfish and entirely constructive way. By this revelation it can be assumed with a reasonable level of certainty that Kongaloids strive with singular dedication to find ways to enhance the sexual pleasure they provide to their mates. Not only by learning and applying all of the thousandfold techniques known to man for enhancing physical pleasure, but also by lavishing and embellishing such techniques with the psychological and emotional requirements that also form a part of the elusive state known as "Total Satisfaction". Kongaloids know that total satisfaction is a holistic state that requires that all aspects of human needs be tended to and fulfilled: Physical, emotional and psychological. They know this because they understand their own personal needs. What a Kongaloid desires is quite simply, what everyone desires. Although it would be nice to have that kind of total satisfaction with everyone else in the human race, the total dedication our selfish desires requires from the giver cancel out such possibilities. We all want our lover´s to be ours alone. Therefore, total satisfaction and promiscuity are mutually exclusive. Total satisfaction is only possible if you dedicate yourself completely to a single person, who in return, dedicates him or herself completely to you. In that state, there will never be a need for oneself to worry about one´s desires, for the lover will forever be dedicated to satisfying them. Eliminating the need for such preoccupation leaves one´s mind so at ease and unconcerned with personal needs, that it is free to become obsessed with giving to the pleaser as much as the pleaser has given. Kongaloids are consummate lovers. Although discrete, they indulge all manner of love-play in order to further enhance their lover´s happiness. This means that Kongaloids love "Risque" sex, fantasy role-playing and the experience of intermingling their eroticism with other forms of physical and psychological gratifications such as sex while eating, swimming or whatever else might seem particularly creative.
So, Kongaloids reason that one child per family is a just compromise. This makes child conception, gestation, birth and rearing a once-in-a-lifetime event for Kongaloids, who enthusiastically put into such plans their most impressive efforts. Naturally none of this behavior is possible within the framework of modern dogma. Although sex-for-pleasure-only is widely practiced, it is not publicly admitted. And most humans will maintain that such practices are generally unhealthy and even obscene, (interestingly enough this view is most loudly acclaimed by those who secretly practice sex-for-pleasure-only). Since Kongaloids revere nature above all things, and since nature demands pleasure, Kongaloids maintain such irrational and unfounded moralities as obscene. Not because of some faded and moldy dogma scratched on paper millennia ago by a mad desert dweller who obviously suffered from solar-exposure-induced delusions of grandeur, but quite simply because their special connection to the life-cycles of the Earth do not allow them to feel otherwise. It can be said that their God is The Earth, and by their more direct communion with that God, their morality is based on the nature of existence and "de facto" valid, while the hysterical writings of ancient dessert dwellers is not. They KNOW that what makes something moral or immoral is not what it is, but what it intends. If something does harm, it is immoral, if it does not it is moral. What "Harm" is will be determined by the end results. Thus Kongaloids feel no inhibitions and suffer from none of the sexual problems so common in modern societies.
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ReligionKongaloids are natural doubters. This is not to say that their first instinct when confronting new information is to doubt it. Quite the contrary, believing that it might be true, they put it immediately to the test. 
Naturally since they are born from normal humans they are
usually reared within some religious belief. However, Kongaloids are
naturaly linked in a fundamental, almost viceral way to the real forces of
natural creation. (A concept that remains to this day, sadly, unknown and
unknowable to non-kongaloids.) Because of this special relationship
between Kongaloids and Nature, (i.e. Reality), Kongaloids generally
outgrow such religious indoctrinations very early in their childhood. By
the time they are five years old they already know that their faith has
lied to them in at least several important factors. By the time they are
ten years old most Kongaloids have abandoned religion altogether,
replacing it with reason and demonstrable facts.Most fundamentalist religions maintain that such ideologies cannot be benevolent. Although Kongaloids can be incited to violence, no Kongaloid has ever been recorded as committing an unjustifiable action in detriment of anything or anyone, ever! In comparison, what organized religion has done to make the history of the human race a tale of terror and hateful suffering is well documented. So instead of worshipping some insubstantial deity that never produces results. They worship life itself, as does the Earth.
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HistoryKongaloids were first observed in 1980, in the unlikely location known as Sanford, Florida, USA. A small group of three males established a habitat in a large Oak tree deep within the forest that surrounds the Sanford Airport. Researchers have found very little documentation regarding this first group of Kongaloids. Their unorthodox views and immediate vicinity to human habitats caused this particular group to be extremely shy and secretive. When they were not working, they spent all of their time at their tree, where they were frequently observed swinging placidly in the breeze from hammocks suspended high above the ground from the massive branches of their "home organism" while listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd or Jethro Tull. (A rather remarkable report indicates that on several occasions, they were also observed to have been listening to the rare and elusive Inter-Galactic Touring Band, but that is as yet unconfirmed.) They called themselves Konga, Mafú, and Dale. They were tall and slim, had a generally good disposition towards others and smiled all the time. Konga was raised as a Jehovah´s Witness, Mafú is said to have been a Catholic, and Dale was of unknown origin, though some research seems to indicate that he might have been raised as a protestant. Other than that their backgrounds are pretty sketchy, all three were obviously Caucasian, but of different geographic stock, Konga was new age Anglo-Saxon, Mafú was new age Latino-Anglo, and Dale was of unknown origin, (probably WASP). Although they inhabited the area for almost one year and seemed rather content with their situation, they mysteriously disappeared in early 1981. Some theories suggest that they were scared off by conflicts with the local human population. There is some archeological evidence that shows that the Kongaloids were victimized by local raiders who frequently trashed their tree house and stole everything they could. United States delinquents are notorious for their apathy and brutality, and for a time it was feared that the Kongaloids had met a horrific end. But later reports came from the island of Puerto Rico, that a Kongaloid community had been observed there. In the remote areas of the El Yunque National State Forest, the only Rain Forest in the United States National Parks system. A scantily-clad group of almost ten Kongaloids had made their home close to the only non-polluted river left in the entire island of Puerto Rico. Due to the remoteness of their forest habitat, studies of this group are also sadly lacking. This larger group of Kongaloids included both males and females. They had a leader or "patriarch" called Billy who serenaded his tribe almost constantly by playing sweet melodies of his own composition on an old guitar that seemed to be an extension of his upper torso. The passionate sounds of lovemaking were always heard in the community, intermingling with the cacophony of wilder bird-calls and Coquíes that were the constant audio backdrop of the tribe. It is believed that KONGA was also a part of this group, although how he got to Puerto Rico remains a mystery. Mafú was also rumored to have been seen from time to time with this group, but his positive identification could not be made and it seemed that he only made infrequent visits to that tribe.
The last unpolluted river in Puerto Rico has now been polluted by the local Aqueducts and Sewer Authority and the tribe has moved away. Human residents of the area have torn down their vacant home for fear that they might someday return. When questioned by researchers the human residents of the area could only spout incoherent and hysterical references to "Satan´s Breed" and the "Devil´s Emissary". Researchers have lost track of the Puerto Rico tribe, and it is believed (and hoped) that they have found an even more remote and inaccessible location to inhabit, where they will be safe from the savagery of human ignorance. Normal human's violence against Kongaloids is well documented, as is evident in a San Juan Star article by Karen Lowe published in 10 May 1982, entitled "Beach drifters irk some Isla Verde residents". It is believed that humans, due to their widespread afectation of paranoia, can sense the Kongaloid's superiority, and instinctively feel threatened. The natural reaction of the agressive humans is to destroy what they find threatening. This is why caution cannot be expressed strongly enough in regards to Kongaloids.
The appearance of Mafú in Puerto Rico is no surprise, since that is his native home-land. Mafú entered the human society in 1982 and became a productive member. He discovered a natural talent for computers and found ways to exploit it. He married a normal human female, who he tried for 15 years to "cure" of her human insanity, a failed experiment that Kongaloids must avoid at all costs. The sensitive Kongaloid nature of Mafú was almost destroyed and probably would have continued to degenerate until Mafú himself was lost. A tragic end for this most interesting Kongaloid pioneer that was averted thanks to the chance meeting (rumored to have occurred in cyberspace) with a Kongaloid female, also of Latin descent, who took it upon herself to salvage what was left of Mafú. Shortly after that Mafú disappeared from Puerto Rico. It is believed he is now living in Mexico with the Kongaloid female that saved him, where they are getting ready for their "once-in-a- lifetime-event". Nothing at all is known of what happened to the Kongaloid known as Dale since his disappearance from the Sanford, Florida, USA locale. It is feared that this last member of the original Kongaloid community has been lost forever.
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PhilosophyAs can be imagined Kongaloids base their concepts of reality, existence, and consequently the purpose of life, on naturally occurring and readily observable phenomena. They listen to "The Voice Within", to their own conscience tempered with reason and logic for guidance in what they must do. The Earth dictates to them how they should behave and they obey it as is their nature to do.
Once determined a Kongaloid erases all obstacles to accomplishing his goals with the greatest of ease. Anyone who stands in his way will be reduced to a value of zero and treated accordingly. However, Kongaloids exist in a constant state of mental revision, nothing is ever ignored, and all information found relevant will be assimilated "en-route". If a Kongaloid determines, based on new information, that he or she was mistaken, a change in course is immediately implemented. To the casual observer, used to the stubborn consistency of most present day politicians and ministers, who continue to support a cause or idea even after it has been disproved, Kongaloid methodology would appear inconsistent and chaotic. In fact, it is merely too complex to be understood, particularly by non-Kongaloids, without a profound analysis of his directives and motives. To act without a logically founded reason is something that Kongaloids consider to be not only absurd, but a form of insanity bordering on the obscene. The most insulting thing one can say to a Kongaloid when he asks why something is, is to say "Because" or even worse, "Just because". This is a sure way to enrage a Kongaloid that practically guarantees that the person he or she is confronting will be reduced to zero and treated accordingly. Kongaloids have no patience for inferior humans who would waste their time with nonsensical gibberish. Any person, organization or entity who in any way has caused damage to the Earth or it´s creatures is viewed with scorn and open revulsion by the Kongaloids. They know that the Earth will not tolerate such behavior indefinitely. Since these elements are doomed by their actions Kongaloids do not feel compelled to interfere with the justice that the Earth will hand out when it chooses. The damage done to the Earth by the inferior humans with their insane economic, religious and social policies is not irreversible, but the Earth may need to eradicate the offending species in order to correct the damage. Kongaloids know that if mankind does not mend it´s ways, the Earth will wipe itself clean from them. No human being will survive the Wrath of Earth, including the Kongaloids. They hope that this will not come to pass, but they understand the brutal necessity of it, and accept that it will happen if mankind does not become a saner species, very soon.
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